01/06/11 - MusicByMeiosis

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Thursday 1st June 2011. Blog #4.

I've been told I have to start promoting my blog a bit more. I don't want to - as I don't think it's particularly good… but anyway I am going to force myself to publicise this one as at the end of it I'm going to give you all a link to a very good cause.

And since I decided that mass appeal is what I need to be aiming for this is the second draft of this week's blog. The first was a little bit unappealing. The subject matter centred on illness, death, depression and bombs. Now, I'd be first to admit these subject matters are among my favourites to endlessly drone on about until there are red faces all round but, in person, the listener is unable to leave the conversation, as it would perhaps display a lack of respect for the subject. On the internet, however, where people generally tend to satisfy their need for whatever content they are craving in solitude, then if I am being a pretentious, self-centred, dribbling, desperate prick people are more likely to leave.

If you apply some clever scrutiny to what I have just said you may think that to write in a blog of all places that it is wrong to be a self-centred, dribbling, desperate prick then I am being something of a hypocrite as the very nature of blogging is quite arrogant. You write something about yourself or something that interests you and you publish it without anybody else having read it or telling you that it should be published and you assume that because there are 2,095,006,005 internet users in the world that some of them with definitely agree or at least empathise with what you have to say.

Or worse still that of the 2,095,006,005 internet users in the world, you don't wish for the vast majority of them to have the blind bit of interest in your own particular brand of dribble because you are aware that the vast majority of the 6,775,235,700 people in the world are complete idiots and that figure will be proportionate when it comes to them being able to figure out how to use this vast vacuum of porn, illegal file sharing and regular statements from Charlie Sheen which each display an element of a mental breakdown 140 characters at a time.

So in a vain attempt to appeal to the masses I have today for the first time attempted to promote this particular blog on those privacy-starving massive friendly-faced outlets - namely Twitter, FaceBook and their slightly older, shamefaced, now homeless prostitute sibling MySpace. I haven't done this in the last few weeks I have been writing here mainly because I couldn't be arsed. I normally don't really care if nobody reads these words. They are just a collection of words from my poor deluded mind. If I really felt I had anything important to say or I wanted to sway general consensus on any particular subject then I'd go and climb up a tall building dressed as Spiderman or throw a bag of purple flour at the prime minister (why was it purple?) to draw attention to myself so I could then utter out a phrase which encapsulates my cause.

Also I find that if I don't really have any desire to appeal to the masses then I can say whatever I want. I probably could have named that naughty footballer last week and nobody would even have known I'd done it (apart from maybe some poor underpaid lawyer's secretary who had spent the day trawling through Google search results but up until 5:25 hadn't got past Twitter). The fact that I hadn't done that is because it hadn't even occurred to me. And the reason it hadn't occurred to me is because I couldn't give a shit. I hope that anyone who it did occur to has to spend several months of their life tweeting from a prison cell about their awkwardness at having to defecate in front of a 19 year old boy who's hobbies include ketamine, joyriding and watching episodes of 'Skins' one frame at a time. Because a) it is an incredibly stupid thing to do just because Boy George reckons it's OK, as Twitter's servers are based in the US, therefore he can see a legal loophole that he believes could be exploited and b) because you actually gave a shit.

The only reason anyone should care about injunctions is that while the people are making all of this fuss about what essentially boils down to a man idiot shagging a lady idiot is that somewhere else there will be injunctions in place which are covering up things which actually are in the public interest and that are important. I refer you to this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trafigura

So you might now understand why I have no desire for mass appeal. You may have noted that earlier I called the vast majority of 6,775,235,700 people idiots. Would I have said that if they were all standing in front of me? Well maybe - but I would have to think of the consequences as, undoubtedly if a large portion of 6,775,235,700 people are idiots then a decent sized proportion of those will take an exception to me blatantly standing there telling them that I think they are complete idiots, and probably a small minority of those who take an exception to that will be mindless violent idiots, and that a small minority of a decent-sized proportion of 6,775,235,700 is still more than I am willing or able to take on. In fact even if I was going to call one person an idiot to their face I would take a little time to get to know them and gain a little trust and possibly some respect before I informed them. As if you tell someone that they are an idiot then you are basically provoking them to punch you in the face and they would believe they are entitled to do so, as they are an idiot.

Today though there is a just cause for promoting this blog to the masses as I'd like them to sponsor my friend who has set herself a bit of a challenge in order to raise a little bit of cash for a decent and honourable charity.

Now if every one of you 2,095,006,005 internet users just gave £1 (to be honest it'd probably be too much and the charity may become a bit egotistical and blow their money on champagne, cocaine and a yacht that they'd ultimately have to sell to feed their increasing addiction [but then again there are other charities which can step forward to offer help and you could give an extra quid to one of those to cancel this problem out {I may have over complicated matters here yet again so I think you should just forget about this bit and maybe move on}]) then they would gain £2,095,006,005 - yes idiots, I have done the maths for you, there is no need for you to work it out.

So just drop by and give my friend a little incentive to carry on training and complete this gruelling task which if I am honest I am too lazy as well as a self-centred, dribbling desperate prick to ever take on myself.

I'll leave you, as usual with a fitting tune from the vast vacuum of uselessness:

Here is the link to that Just Giving page so you can go and do the right thing: http://www.justgiving.com/Sharleen-French

While I have the attention of all you pathetic 'X Factor' fans then maybe while I have dragged you away from gossiping about worthless fools on Twitter then you should maybe have a go at listening to some meaningful (not as successful but more thoughtful than Simon Cowell's entire existence) music at my music page here: http://www.musicbymeiosis.com

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