SHOOTS, EATS AND LEAVES
MY NEW ALBUM IS OUT!
Yeah, blog readers… my new album ‘Songs For 20 Something Year Olds’ is out now and I have already sold a staggering 6 units! I know, I know… calm down it is amazing but 3 of those had free download codes so really it’s only half of that – whatever that is. You do the maths.
It’s only £3 to download - so that might explain why I have such high volumes of people crashing my website to place their order. If you have trouble with the server being overloaded or whatever, please do check back in a few days after the hype has calmed down a little. Then, I can assure you, all will be swift and easy.
I made it available on Bandcamp for £3, not because it is of low quality but because I think it’s fair to say that everybody is rather skint. If you like you can go to iTunes, Amazon or Spotify & download the album for about 7 or 8 quid. I will make less money back from it and you will be customarily, satisfactorily dissatisfied with your out of pocketness.
If we sell enough downloads on Bandcamp – we can press the CDs or the vinyl or whatever. I learned last year, that there is little point in doing such work in advance. I just made my money back from ‘Where Reality Ends & I Begin’ & I think I spent a small fortune on making and producing it. This time I feel completely in control of what I want & what is possible. I am now aware that I’m not the biggest and best act that will venture across your ears but I do still want you to give me a good chance to show you just what I am. So go and download the album. Please, please go and download it.
I will probably make another album next year, as I like the idea of a trilogy. I think that will be the last one I do. I think 3 years of disappointment of any project is enough to make me become disillusioned, as regular followers of this blog may already know, my mind changes if anybody drops a hat anywhere ever.
On the BBC Radio 2 yesterday, and on the Twitters - instead of reporting on the best album release of the entire century, Jeremy Vine chose to ask “when whales are stranded on beaches, instead of an expensive rescue operations shouldn’t they just be shot and eaten?”
Now, to be fair, I did not listen to the debate Jeremy Vine had chosen to rile the left wing & the right wing British public with mobile telephones up against each other that day – but I’m guessing it was a classic debate with some people who are normal and rational and some complete tools who think Jesus is coming back and therefore damn us all to hell early by voting for the Tories just to teach us a lesson.
Because this has it all! Let’s look again at old faithful Jezza’s tweet, “when whales are stranded on beaches, instead of an expensive rescue operations shouldn’t they just be shot and eaten?”
If you don’t like liberalism then I suggest you turn off now. Because I am now going to spend an awful long time pulling this statement apart and you will not be able to concentrate on the words and the reading etc.
So when whales are stranded on beaches in the UK – let’s be fair, it does not happen often, what shall we do? Should we rescue them or kill them and eat them? Who fancies a bit of whale meat? Do we have a shortage? Has Jeremy Vine discovered that whale meat is better than chicken? Who is going to tell Kentucky Fried Whale? “Well, Martin, it could feed the homeless.” No it couldn’t. I have spent quite a lot of my life for one reason or another talking to homeless people & gathered some information. They are just like you & I but without homes to sleep in at night, so they don’t like eating whale either, Mr Jeremy Vine. In your suit and tie.
Who is going to shoot these whales? Unemployed miners from 1984? Well at least the Tory government has done something good for the unemployed rejected workers they disregarded in the 1980s. Or chav kidz with nothing better to do than factory work? With no prospects or ambition other than ‘this’ll pay for my cannabis, to get me through the immediate future’. I feel sorry for those kidz. Mainly because they aren’t kids anymore. I worked in a factory for one night 10 years ago. Our task was to glue some missing pages into faulty text books for secondary school students. I wasn’t very good on my first day but when I asked for assistance, I was told by the manager to “imagine it’s a woman & it has hair on it, then just stick it in”. Charming. Strangely, all of my colleagues that evening, when I asked “why are you working here?” said, “so I can make money to buy drugs”. It was a 5pm to 11pm shift and you’d make about £30 per shift if you were lucky enough to get all of your gluing right. If your gluing was not correct then you’d get minimum wage (which was £3 an hour then, so you’d get about £25). To make matters worse they force fed us Alan Robson on Radio Newcastle. He’s annoying at his best.
So who do you propose shoots the whales, Mr Jeremy Vine? (if that is your real name). The army? That’s gonna cost a fortune in logistics alone. How about we await a psychopath like Derek Bird or Raoul Moat to be passing, and perhaps save money by getting the police to redirect them in the general direction of the stranded whales? We could use discarded bullets that Dumbo the elephant spat out as peanut shells.
Then it will all fall down to the fact something or somebody is spending money that ‘could be better spent on SCHOOLS and HOSPITALS’.
Schools and hospitals are very important to me. I went to school once and occasionally need hospitals. I think, as they are both state run institutions & that both are always top priority for any government, politician, member of Parliament, Councillor, or anyone who has any influence in the running of the country at all then I think they spend quite a lot of money already on schools and hospitals. I don’t think rescuing some whales will come out of the same budget. I don’t think a locally funded sculpture by Antony Gormley will have a massive impact on either.
Schools & hospitals depend very much upon the culture that is within them. The culture of generations tends to be dictated by politicians. For example – if you were not skint – you’d probably take your kids out to see something, like a pantomime, or if you don’t have kids, go to the pub with your friends. Perhaps instead of complaining on social networking websites that you are stuck. Home. Watching Simon ‘The Twat’s’ Cowell X Factor. Sort yourself out, you massive freak.
So, I make myself wonder… will everything be ok? It has been a difficult week. Personally & professionally. Never ever mix friends with work.
You can buy the new Meiosis album, ‘Songs For 20 Something Year Olds’ for just £3 (like Martin said) here: http://meiosis.bandcamp.com
This is Martin’s next gig: