There's nothing for me to whinge about this week. Everything is tickety boo isn't it? For a weekly blog that is still yet young and has already touched upon the surface of freedom of speech, the inaccuracies of the media and how the general public are generally idiots, I'm at a loss as to what I should be writing about this week.
Then I noticed a slight shift in public opinion and strangely it is in tune with my own opinion. When I say slight, I mean extreme obviously because the public, they don't do anything by halves, God bless their cotton socks.
In August 1997, when I was 15 years old, I realised by using my eyes and ears and applying some of my mind to think that by rule of thumb the tabloid press were absolute scum of the earth. I had my suspicions before then but I went along with the general public at large in believing that journalists, particularly those who work for the red tops, are cunts.
Also in August 1997 I discovered that the general public were, in general, all complete idiots. They could have stopped buying these newspapers by the millions. But they didn't. The tabloid frenzy which they lapped up after that young what's-her-name supposedly employed a man to drive her into a concrete pillar whilst she casually didn't even bother to wear a seat belt - I found, as a 15 year-old child just a tad bit hypocritical.
Now Mr Cameroon will order at our nation's behest not one but two idiot public enquiries on the corrupt media in this country which will be reported to the public by the same corrupt media it is intended to expose. That's not going to work either is it? Somewhere in that enquiry will be a recommendation that the press should be regulated. That's going to work to an even lesser extent as it's an ever so slightly communist attitude to take and as we have seen in the past using our eyes and our minds, communism doesn't really work.
So what should happen? Well, newspapers don't really need to exist at all anymore do they? It's an outdated medium. Just don't bother buying them. Not because they are immoral scumder cunts but because they are just totally useless. Admittedly I can probably count on my fingers and toes how many times I have actually bought a newspaper but I do get to read a few of their sorry little pathetic excuses for articles about news and current events before they get chucked into bins or used to line cat litter trays.
And whilst we are at it will you stop buying shitty little magazines like the one I saw the other day which has the tag line, 'Life! Death! Prizes!' A friend of mine had bought it on an ironic level but if irony is going to keep these things alive then the irony is not worth it. Besides, the vast majority of this particular magazine's irony can be found upon its front cover which you can view for free here (just make sure you don't succumb to any advertising on this page or it defeats the object): http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/magazines/Chat
So what else can I have you doing for me whilst I have you on my side, general idiot public? Well you could stop paying huge subscriptions to BSkyB, you could stop watching ITV altogether, and whilst you are away they might have a go at turning it into a television channel for us all. You could stop taking any notice whatsoever of football (soccer if you're American but also if you are an American, football. It's just as bad.) You could stop laughing at racist jokes just to seem polite, you could stop believing that anyone on a plane with darker skin than Michael Jackson is a terrorist (don't you realise that by doing this you are giving actual terrorists exactly what they want?), you could start saying, 'thank you' every time I go out of my way just to hold a fucking door open for you, you could stop drunkenly cheering at the sight of ladies' breasts (if you are a lady then you could stop drunkenly showing drunk men your breasts), you could stop using the phrase 'it's ridiculous' when making a complaint to a member of frontline staff who just happens to work for the huge corporation you are complaining about (you might as well vent your anger to your dead cat), you could stop being a member of JLS, you could start recycling as if you mean it, you could stop using the word 'typical' to describe a scenario that cannot be generally described as typical, you could buy better eggs that haven't been laid by Duracell bunnies, you could take into account more views than your own, you could notice positive sides to immigration (or emigrate and don't take it to heart when the locals don't seem to take to you that much), you could realise that being politically correct is not the same as going mad, you could realise that homosexuality is a behaviour rather than a label for a group and you could take a little time to think about how your opinions and attitudes could have an impact on others.
We are not talking anymore about the actions of an individual who was subcontracted by a newspaper to carry out immoral acts and therefore the chief executive of the company which runs that newspaper should resign. We are talking about an entire change of attitude of the general public as a whole. We already know politicians tend to bend the truth and we are aware that corruption has occurred within the police force, but that's all been sorted out until next time it happens, and we have been aware for many years that newspapers operate to a highly immoral standard. But why? Well it's all our fault! Us as the idiot general public have fed, bred and nurtured this behaviour for a very very long time and if we as a whole decide that we don't like it then we must see a massive social change very soon, otherwise the future will be alarmingly bleak.
Normally, I'd now leave you with a YouTube video with some kind of suitable music to compliment my words above but fuck it… as I think you know as well as I do, we might as well just play this on a continuous loop:
Dedicated to the memory of the 52 people who lost their lives in London on this day 6 years ago.