THE POP SINGER'S FEAR OF THE SOLEMN COUNTS
The delights of British Summer Time have arrived. We can attend a music festival sponsored by Barclaycrud where the only available thing to drink will be pints of Turdburg for £5.90 a go and I get to whinge about the cynicism and hypocrisy of the land without leaving the relative comfort of an uncomfortable chair in a darkened room.
Since I returned from Glastonbury a week ago, after having recovered from my old man ailments acquired through 5 days of pretty much solid walking and cider drinking, I have remained cocooned in my own pleasant ideals. I returned remembering that the world is basically a lovely place, where people are all good to each other and that cider does actually taste nice. As time goes by, I will forget all of this and gradually, once again, become a bitter and twisted man.
Last time I returned from Glastonbury, I speeded up this process by travelling to London twice in one weekend & attending a festival at Hyde Park. They should ban concerts at Hyde Park. They are the essence of everything that is wrong with going to big gigs. I’ve written before about how badly concert-goers are treated at these things (this also includes stadium and arena shows). Firstly, it is expensive – I don’t mind if they need to be expensive to cover huge costs but I want to be treated like a customer who has paid a vast some of money to come and spend time here. Once you are inside the arena, you are locked in. If you leave, you are not allowed back. Well that’s not very nice once you discover that inside, the food is awful and drinks are far too expensive to even consider abusing to make you feel less annoyed. Advertising is everywhere you look, and while I was thinking to myself that I was of far superior a mind to succumb to it, I realised I had bought all of my friends and me tickets on my Barclaycard as they offered a £30 discount which would have been fine if all of my friends paid me back straight away but instead I was subject to 27% APR on those tickets for so long I probably ended up, in the long run, paying well over the odds. Then there’s the clientele. The word I’d use to describe those would start with a ‘cu’ and ends with ‘nts’. They don’t attend these big events to watch some great live music outdoors in the sunshine. They mainly attend to make a feature documentary for Facebook on their mobile telephones. They then talk over the music and before the end of the evening have pissed on every dry piece of land in sight. They push you aside, shout over your favourite song and if they haven’t pissed up the back of your legs they just throw it over you in cup form.
The sound from the stage is too quiet and the curfew for live music is too early. Security is too boisterous and at the end of the evening they should really just show a big message on a screen that reads ‘we’ve got all of your money, now get the fuck out’.
Ticket touts are rife and push up the demand for tickets. “Wow! This show sold out in 6 minutes!” But it didn’t really because seconds later all that has happened is 75% of the tickets have been removed from sale on the official website and relocated to eBay, Viagogo and the like at a 300% mark up. I’m not sure why this still hasn’t been legislated. Just make it illegal to sell a concert ticket for more than its face value. Postage should not cost more than a set amount and booking fees should be limited. The only reason I can think of why the government doesn’t enact this is because the companies involved have some kind of influence.
Apart from all of this, I’m having a lovely summer’s day. I have been thinking hard about organising some live dates and about how to organise some of the logistics for the huge David Bowie tribute show I’m putting on in that Newcastle upon Tyne (Tickets available for £8 www.musicbymeiosis.com/live.html). I have been writing music, making videos, reading inspiring stuff and listening to silly podcasts. Life doesn’t get much better than this, does it? Well it has to, as I will very quickly become bored of being a hermit, so I have to find something that will push me out of my front door and something to aspire to achieving.
I’m very much trying to achieve a state of suspended animation in which I am content to sit back and do fuck all.
Whilst on my holiday at The Glastonbury (which I daren’t refer to in too much detail as I am aware anyone who did not attend will be sick to death of hearing about it now as they have all moved on to enjoying the ‘Hit A Ball Game’ – and also it might ruin the magic for me if I bang on about it too much), I saw some great music. I was not expecting to watch so much music this year as I didn’t think the line-up was as strong as it has been in recent years but this only served to make me go and seek out new things. The Rolling Stones, Primal Scream, Elvis Costello, Billy Brag, Portishead, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Public Image LTD and Milk and Biscuits were among my favourites…
…Oh hang on – did you not recognise the name of that last one? Well they were a band I saw on the BBC Introducing stage that I instantly fell for. They are like a big slice of dreamy, summery cream cake and here is one of their musical things for your pleasure:
You can find all of MY stuff that I am supposed to promote on this blog at www.musicbymeiosis.com including ticket details for the aforementioned Bowie Experience show at WHQ, Newcastle on 28th September that I really really do need you to buy tickets for as, in this case, the show taking place very much depends on advance sales.