HOW SWEET TO BE
You do all know I’m an idiot right? Quite socially awkward and a bit unable to control my own lanky limbs and facial expressions. I sometimes say things which sound fine in my own head but come out with unintended expression which changes the meaning to another person. Occasionally, I can tame this to my advantage. Most of the time, it just leads me from one embarrassment to the next.
When I get drunk I do like to send people long & thoughtful emails, which become in the light of day works of absolute jabbering rubbish. Perhaps it’s not the best time to try to sort out technical details for a show we’re doing or try to promote my music but it is true to say in my case I would not have forced myself into the situation of doing almost everything I have done except by being insanely drunk at 3am when I conceived the idea and then acting upon it immediately. If I don’t act upon it there and then, quite simply, I will never ever do it. Because it is a really really stupid idea.
However these really stupid ideas have led me to doing this Meiosis thing I do these days and you know what? I kind of enjoy this. My new album if out next month and I’m quietly pleased with it. I probably only have one more album left in this whole project after this, which will take me through to the end of next year. Then what will I do? I’ll either settle down and be content with my day job or start firing off more drunken emails with more stupid ideas.
I tell you this now because someone said to me this week that they admire my motivation and they can’t seem to get things done in the same way I do. It is fair to say that I get a fair bit of work done, mainly because I tend to do it myself rather than trying to rely on waiting on other people who, let’s be honest could do some of it better than I. With my latest video (which I imagine I’ll post at the bottom of this blog) I appear to have hit a new landmark by taking a little bit of extra time and care I have finally created a music video which I am not completely embarrassed about promoting.
Going off his few chance conversations with me I’d imagine Jarvis Cocker probably thinks I’m a bit of a tit, Graham Coxon actually ran away from me, Tom Barman looked at me quizzically, Neil Hannon wanted to punch me and Richard Herring has Google Alerts set up on his name so I just want to mention him to slightly frustrate him.
There have been many days I have not been able to log into Facebook or look at my email account because I have sent a long, boring, slightly weird message to someone I admire – wondering if they can help me in some way with my pathetic newly thought of project. If I do something in person, then at least I can go back at a later date and apologise in person and perhaps explain my actions or better still everyone just forgets all about it. With emails, they can be kept forever and searched for whenever you want to drag up the sorry mess in the future. With the advent of the Twitters and the people who you admire now being always just a few clicks away, perhaps it’s important to remember that if you must engage with them then make sure it’s worthwhile. As Twitter grows larger, it appears to becoming more diluted with tiny blogs from the general public, which I have already blogged about extensively. It remains the best social network on the World Wide Web but I fear it may break like Myspace or like, I think is likely, Facebook is just about to by simply forgetting what they set out to do.
Regular readers or friends or gig attendees may note that I appear to enjoy embarrassing myself intentionally and wonder why I haven’t reproduced the embarrassing emails on this blog… well I can’t because they are personal & many mention my family or friends and I just don’t think it’s fair to inflict my idiocy in their direction.
When you remember an embarrassing moment, quietly on your own, or on a bus or in front of your loved ones, you might cringe. Or perhaps think to yourself ‘oh dear’. I don’t. I shout out loud involuntary phrases and words almost as if I have Tourette’s syndrome or I am genuinely mad. It’s quite frustrating as this often leads to another yet more embarrassing situation. My current favourites are; “GARRRRYYYY!”, “I LOVE YOU!”, “FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”, or “CUNTS!”. So often if I shout out any of these words in a public place or in front of anybody, I have to either explain the horrible embarrassing experience I just remembered in full Technicolor in my head, or turn it into a sentence. Yes – I do normally plump for turning it into a sentence, which is perhaps where my improvisational skills I don’t have may come from. I’m hoping by writing about this, I can make it stop or maybe even just change the words. If you shout out “CUNTS!” on a full bus, then you may just accept that everyone on that bus thinks you’re a weirdo, but if you shout out “I LOVE YOU!” on a full bus then it’s hard to accept that you’ve done it. Likewise, if you shout out “I LOVE YOU!” in front of your mother, she will probably be happy, but… yeah, need I carry on? It’s really fucking difficult to turn “CUNTS!” into a sentence in front of your mother but I have managed it, only once and hopefully never again. It must have been easier than explaining this to her.
Occasionally, I get a few responses after my blog has gone up on the World Wide Web telling me that somebody else agrees – Though, this time, I suspect I have found a new ailment , which I am going to name “CUNT SYNDROME!” and you have to SHOUT its name otherwise doctors will not understand what you mean. I have deliberately not made the word “CUNT” plural, so that doctors can ask “how are you spelling that?” and correctly diagnose. If they spell with an apostrophe followed by an ‘s’, then doctors will be simply be able to diagnose “I think you are correct”.
I met somebody I admire last week. It was a pleasant short conversation. We took a photograph and I quickly got out of there before I thought that he could clock on that I was that idiot who sent him that long weird email one time… I got out of the conversation a bit too quickly before, knowing my track record, I could make a dick out of myself. I forgot to say thank you. Thanks!
Here is my new music video. Can you watch it please?
You can download the new Meiosis album, Songs For 20 Something Year Olds, here.
More stuff: http://www.musicbymeiosis.com