SOUND & VISION
Well I guess I have been thinking hard about performing again this week. What am I? What AM I?? I’m not a band or a ‘solo act’. My friend Alex came up with the best description of my Meiosis show: I am an Art Installation. I was really pleased with his definition as this means I no longer have to bother with the catchy songs that bore me to death, but can spend more time on dressing up in suits and attempting to project uncomfortable images onto a wall.
Well, what I usually tend to do is make everything the best I can then immediately dismiss it as ‘boring’. My dismissiveness is probably the only thing that keeps me interested in doing this DIY musician thing. It’s like a little whirlpool; when you get to the bottom, you immediately refer yourself back to the top.
I honestly don’t have anything to whinge about this week. I don’t care if you have been sitting at home eating horses or looking at your MPs that you didn’t elect turning out to be complete horrible bastards. Here is a list of things I don’t care about:
HORSES FOR COURSES:
I’m kind of pleased some cows have been allowed to live in sacrifice for some horses. Although I know a load of cows have probably been churned up elsewhere, in ratio, either we have run out of cows or more horses have been born to meet demand. … either way – we now have more animals to eat/save.
I don’t want an MP to have to resign from his job because he palmed off some speeding points to his wife. Everybody does that – so don’t sit up from your Lambrini & X Factor to be so judgemental. However, it turns out that said MP also turned out to be a complete cunt – so fair play.
I stole a Video from HMV in 1996. I think this date should be marked as the start of their downfall.
I’m kind of pissed off about the Gay Marriage debate. I’m really pissed off because I think this should have happened at least 20 years ago & I feel I have missed out on an age of ‘ultimate acceptance’. And my life may have been several degrees easier if I had been born 20 years later. I guess a gay man who was born in 1950 could be part of a revolution; I, as a gay man born in 1982, do not feel part of a revolution but more of a generation of "Mehhhhh"? "WTF?" However, I hope this belated argument can give birth to a greater acceptance that gay people have as many human rights as any other human being in this life – such as my child, that I will call ‘Drunken Acciendent #1’ or ‘Daisy’ for ‘Whoopsy Daisy’ . I might call it ‘Martin’ if it’s a boy, as it’s a nice name to have. Or ‘Martin’ if it’s a girl, because I say so.
Piers Morgan is in the UK. I think you should all lynch him, together, drag him up the A1 with a bit of tarpaulin in his rectum, and bring him (still sweating and cursing) to my feet, so that I can personally call him a cunt to his crying face. What better example would there be of the ‘Big Society’ in Action?*
If you are in Belfast on Sunday 3 rd March, come down to our free gig. I am playing as well as local heroes, David McCann & Andy Train:
On Saturday 28 th September, I will be showcasing at World Headquarters in Newcastle, the amazing The Bowie Experience. You need to buy a ticket for 8 quid from here:
And for those sceptics thinking a cover can’t be ‘as good as the original’, here is a cover version of a Bowie song:
Go buy some tickets! www.wegottickets.com/event/207550
*Stewart Lee joke