IF YOU COULD MAKE EVERYBODY POOR, JUST SO YOU CAN BE RICH?
I am unable to make it through the night without having to get up to do a wee at least once. This makes me smile as in my early 20s I was responsible for taking the piss (no pun intended) out of my companions for being ‘older’ and slightly more decrepit than I was at the time. It's worth me pointing out now, that the intervening years have passed me by quickly & unceremoniously, almost as if they didn't matter at all.
Due to the hand I've been dealt, I am a man who appears on looks alone to be 10 years older than he actually is & this time last year, this manifested itself in my 29 year old brain as ‘people will always assume that instead of a man in his 20s, acting like a man in his 20s - that I am in fact a much older man, acting like a prick’. It is only now dawning on me that I am just a prick.
I thought I’d get a head start on this week’s blog by writing some of it on my mobile telephone here and there. Unfortunately, it has been of little assistance as this is as far as I got and I’m now going to abandon this trail of thought (as if it were my own child).
I have a couple of gigs to go and then it’s back to work on my next album. At some point last week I took a listen to everything I have done so far and came to the conclusion that around 50% of it isn’t working – or is complete shit, if you prefer. So I suppose I’ll have to get writing some new songs. This is all fine as the vast majority of this album was made of recycled old songs. It is a great example of why you should take your time with these things as I suppose I could have released this collection of tedium in February if I had so wished. Obviously, I will let you know to what new heights of frustration this process will take me in the coming months.
Other than that, I didn’t do an awful lot last week. I took a little holiday from work and mainly spent my time reading and getting drunk every other day. I hid away in my negative equity laden flat which I am dying to move out of for pastures new. The place I live is run by one of those horrible residential management companies who I have to pay to carry out all the tasks that I already pay the council to do. In the communal areas, they look after the lights that are broken, the front door that doesn’t lock, and cleaning which is rarely done. Outside they attend to the guttering which leaks down my windows, electricity bits and bobs that keep tripping, the copper gas pipes that some charver has come and sawn off with a hacksaw, the street lighting which is spontaneously on/off, the roads which are periodically laid and then dug up by the builders as if they keep remembering something that should have been shoved underground, my parking space that people keep parking in before getting on the Metro to the Airport and fucking off to fucking Benidorm for a fortnight, the street signs that are non-existent and the gardens which frankly look like the edge of some unfarmed farmland. For a sense of my frustrations it’s also worth mentioning that I have basically been living on a building site since 2006 on a badly designed small new-build project that has now been work in progress for 12 fucking years, the amount of refuse space for the building is inadequate which means I have to either take my recycling elsewhere or keep it in the flat for a week and a good proportion of the residents in my building are noisy, annoying little fuckwits.
I received a letter yesterday informing me that the management company’s fees will be going up yet again. We get these letters at least once a year that generally say ‘we’re terribly sorry but unfortunately, we didn’t realise how much it would cost to do fuck all, badly’.
I have done some sums: I pay around £70 per month to this management company. There are 8 flats in my block so that’s £560. Over the course of the year the residents in my building pay approximately £6720 for nothing. There are about 1000 dwellings on the entire estate so assuming everybody pays the same (they don’t, some pay more) then that’s £840,000 a year the management company receive for doing an easy job badly.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind paying so much if the place was absolutely fucking beautiful and efficiently run. It’s not though. So I am going to start suggesting to my neighbours that we collectively get rid of the management company and instead chuck 20 quid into the pot every month to employ a caretaker, who will sit in a shed listening to radio 4, drinking cups of strong tea until we pop round to ask him to fix something, at which point he will turn up in his overalls with a hammer in his hand and actually fucking fix it!
Meiosis will be playing live at the following events:
Saturday 2nd June. Cluny 2, Newcastle. 8pm. £4
Under Ten – the new solo project of Andrew Proud from Captain Trips
Here is a Facebook event page for this gig if you need such a thing: http://www.facebook.com/events/223419221094036/
And Friday 22nd June. The Bridge Hotel, Newcastle. 8pm. £3
Psy of the Dead
For more details – visit the live page on this website.
The Meiosis album, Where Reality Ends & I Begin is available from iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and anywhere else you can think of as well as it being available in its physical CD package form from the store on this website for only £4.