I’m about to go outside. It’s cold. I have another 25 posters to put up for next week’s “Bowie” gig. I’m still wondering if I’m going to break even on it. Probably not.
I put up a load of posters in the pouring ice-cold rain just over a week ago. A quick surveillance of a few places on Wednesday confirmed what always happens; my posters have been pulled down to accommodate someone else’s or just plain pulled down. Sometimes I consider a course of action for this kind of scenario. Murder has been deemed a definite no-no as it creates more problems than it solves. Someone suggested sticking stickers on the offending posters stating that they are evil bastards but you can never be sure that these posters belong to a guilty party. My favourite idea so far has been to attend the events and act like a total dick. I’m completely playing to my own strengths here but I’m sure between us we could do this on a rotation basis to avoid being tracked.
I believe with promoting there is certain etiquette involved and some unwritten rules should be adhered to at all costs. I also believe to be a successful promoter you have to act like a complete and utter wanker. This being a complete contradiction in terms, I have finally decided to hang up my promoter’s hat for good. The wankers can have it!
I’m not saying that all promoters are wankers. Far from it. It is only a small percentage. However this small percentage moves through all promoters like a wave and it’s position is generally dictated by whether or not I’m in the same room as them or not!
So cowardly from afar I can take a little swipe across them all in one fell swoop. It’s not a fair statement to make at all. Music promoting is a lot of hard work for very little reward – you’d have to be a bit of an idiot to take it up in the first place. Unless, you did as I did and do it for the love rather than the money. There are a handful of bands in Newcastle and beyond that I think are really great and I believe in. They are trustworthy and reliable and these are the bands I would be happy to promote gigs and music for, time and time again. Most of whom can be found on the Cults tab on this website. And if not they should get in touch so they can be.
To be honest I have and will get upset at musicians who slag off the promoter. A lot of the time a bad gig is the band’s fault rather than the promoter’s. I’d say that once a gig is underway the promoter has little to no control over it. They can usually be found stressing about money at the door, or anxiously trying to get a band offstage on time. In my time I have moved the Earth to get hold of equipment bands should have brought themselves or quite often grabbed a guitar and stood-in for artists that just haven’t turned up. Bands cancelling gigs at short notice was often my gripe. In the last five years I have been promoting I have only ever had to pull one gig at short notice. I’ve had plenty that I wish I had pulled at short notice but it’s not the point! If I’m prepared to go through thick and thin to make sure an event takes place then I think it’s the least anyone else involved can do to have the same attitude. Anyone who let me down was never invited back.
So anyway, I’m not sure if it’s because of my passionate love/hate relationship with gig promoting or if it’s a case of getting a bit older and not really hacking the highest highs and lowest pitfalls of the job. Maybe I’ve just finally got around to wanting to concentrate of being an artist in my own right now and that’s what I’m going to be doing from now on. I have quit as a promoter and I have quit as a band manager. The relief is quite liberating!
But let’s not forget I still have one show left to promote and it’s the biggest thing I have ever attempted to stage. It takes place next week so you should probably tune in to find out how it went! OR!!! Attend! You lazy bastard!
The Bowie Experience + Captain Trips + Meiosis will take place at World Headquarters, Newcastle from 8pm on Saturday 26th November. Buy a ticket in advance or pay on the door. http://www.wegottickets.com/event/121285
I no longer care if I lose a bit of money on this! Let’s just make it really fucking good!
So off I go, for the last time, to put up some more posters which will undoubtedly mysteriously disappear by mid-week. I’ll not get upset with whoever does it this time. I will just consider you to be a massive deconstructive cunt who is in part responsible for the demise of the independent music industry.
If there are any young student types who have fancied taking up promoting music and are somewhat put off by my comments, don’t be. It also has a good side. Just don’t be one of the bad guys… OK?
The only gigs I’ll be putting on from now on will be my own Meiosis gigs. So for now, this promoter has retired. Thanks to all the bands I have put on since 2006 (well just the good ones).
See Martin go out on a high and make sure you attend next week’s gig at World Headquarters. Tickets/Entry on door* will be £10 and we can almost guarantee that no percentage of this will go to the promoter!
*Limited availability on the door so either turn up early or just buy a ticket now: http://www.wegottickets.com/event/121285