GOING DOWNHILL FAST
Kids, take a piece of clingfilm and put the middle of it in your mouth and suck. Don’t be stupid and choke yourselves… now twist the end to make a bubble in the bit you have in your mouth. Now pop the bubble. That was my main form of entertainment in 1989.
At one point we did think that my Maniac FM video would go viral. It picked up quite a number of hits the first day it was posted and we thought we’d done something worthy of the cool kidz’s attention. However, over the next couple of weeks, it slowed down. I can’t say I wasn’t relieved. “13 years of Meiosis and this is the shit that I will be noted for?!”
In 1986 my best form of entertainment was a tiny plastic yellow bulldozer. I’d ride it down hills fast and in the end my mother threw it away “because it was wearing my shoes out”. Well at that age didn’t I constantly need new shoes anyway? I seem to vividly remember putting my feet in an odd machine at a Clarks’ shoe shop just about every Saturday, wondering if my foot was to be eaten by this monster or if it would just tickle a bit before snuggly holding my foot in place, giving a 17 year old slave labourer the correct measurement.
When I reformed myself into Meiosis in late 2010, I felt confident within myself that it was something viable to do as an artist. Although nostalgic, it was also something fresh and new. It wasn’t something I had seen done before and thought it would be a laugh. It still is. I think.
In 1990 I found a bottle of Matey, a whisk and a transparent plastic jug and endless opportunity for entertainment. A bath full of Matey bubbles and a whisk to make them gigantic was an endless opportunity for an 8 year old child to pour endless pints of Matey bitter. Sometimes not wanting to go in the bath in the first place turned into never getting out of the bath. The water turned the skin on my fingers all wrinkly, “Just like Grandma’s”, and occasionally my mother would pour a jug of scalding hot water over my head accidentally, which always kept my brother and I on edge.
I started attending piano lessons when I was 9 years old, and started to learn guitar when I was about 14. Ever since I knew how, I was writing songs. Every day I am bombarded with information on how to write music and how to promote myself. OK - I think I’ve got it – the point is, none of these ways in which we are ‘taught’ to do this are correct. Content is the answer. In other words – make stuff good. My gigs, albums, website, videos and anything else I can think of are the best I can provide for the money I have and the money I make from them, which if you’re interested is roughly zero. When I do make money, it is instantly spent on the next thing I’m doing.
Kids, if you are looking for something interesting to do, don’t watch your mates mix a teaspoon of Wizz with some water and then head off into the woods in the pitch black dark where you have hidden a bottle of cider to drink and slowly lose your senses, talking bollocks, bumping into trees and falling down holes. I know you won’t because now you have the world at your fingertips. You no longer have to wait to hear your favourite bands on the radio, or on television, eagerly anticipating their appearance with your finger poised above play/record. You download it from Dime, look at iPlayer, YouTube or just use uTorrent to steal shit. You will never wonder where your mates are or what they are doing because you have their every movement tracked on Facebook.
This is all good and I approve. When I was 18, people would tell me of their nostalgic memories of working in coal mines, steel works or listening to Hendrix on vinyl. I never thought it’d be possible for memories such as ‘having a Myspace page’ to become nostalgic. Perhaps things move faster for you now kids, but I am trying to keep up! I hope my music, videos and pictures of when I had hair give you some happy memories to blog about in 15 years’ time.
I have just created a Meiosis timeline on Facebook. Going back over 15 years of me doing this has made me wonder. Why am I doing this? What exactly is the point? Am I enjoying it? Where do I go from here? The point is – I have been trying my best to entertain you for many years in a variety of ways or the only way I know how. It’s always worth me considering when it should be time to stop. I’m used to punching considerably above my weight with my attempts of things to do. Hopefully, I can carry on for at least another year to achieve something to make it all worth while.
Meiosis will be playing live at the following events:
Saturday 2nd June. Cluny 2, Newcastle. 8pm. £4
Under Ten – the new solo project of Andrew Proud from Captain Trips
Here is a Facebook event page for this gig if you need such a thing: http://www.facebook.com/events/223419221094036/
And Friday 22nd June. The Bridge Hotel, Newcastle. 8pm. £3
Psy of the Dead
For more details – visit the live page on this website.
The Meiosis album, Where Reality Ends & I Begin is available from iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and anywhere else you can think of as well as it being available in its physical CD package form from the store on this website for only £4.