WE ARE ALL MADE OF ‘GEORDIE SWIMMERS’
With the amount of stag & hen parties in Newcastle this evening, I wonder how many women, men and animals the locals can mate with? I wonder if the entire world is related to Geordie Boys (whey-ya-ya-whoh-oh-whoh). If the televisual feast programme Who Do You Think You Are?, which appears to be named after a Spice Girls song, actually did their research properly, then I think they would find that everyone is somehow related to Ant and/or Dec. I wonder why more children aren’t called Newcastle after where they were conceived?
I think Newcastle City Council may have an exchange programme set up where, during the summer months, we swap with Edinburgh people who are complete twats. They send us their best and in exchange we send up a few half-witted blokes in fancy dress and some “ladies” with no bottoms on. Whatever Newcastle City Council and the Scottish Parliament have agreed, then let it be clear that we all, being residents in our nearbyish cities, completely approve.
If I was younger, I’d maybe have a think about trying to capitalise on this exchange of sexual organs from one city to another but… when I WAS younger I did actually capitalise on the exchange by…
Putting some good bands from Edinburgh on at my nights and occasionally going up there (by “up there” I do not mean an Edinburgh lady’s fafoof, let me finish the sentence, you assuming putin) to put on some good bands from Newcastle myself.
Dundee, Aberdeen, Glasgow are also great places that I have put the work in to enjoy on a personal basis but I don’t feel those cities have sent enough male/female sluts in order to rebalance the ground work I have made as an ambassador. Manchester, Derby, Penzance & Peterborough have none of my seed – so I am not at all interested in their semen exchange programmes. Although I did once leave a bit of seed on pillows near to all of those cities in the hope that it may catch on one day.
If I was younger, if I had lots of disposable money and I was slightly more attractive, I’d have done that. I’d have dressed in revealing clothes, got drunk and fucked anything that moved like a complete Vladimirovich. I would have travelled to LA and played naked pocket billiards with anyone who cared. Or anyone who didn’t care for that matter. And I guess the person who didn’t care would surreptitiously take photographs on their mobile phone and then attempt to sell them to the papers.
Haven’t we all had mad and awesome evenings like that at some point in our lives? The kind of evening you enjoy in memory but would rather not tell your mam and dad about? If you haven’t had one – either go to Edinburgh or come to Newcastle – depending on your location.
I’m tempted, because I am an idiot, to post on this blog a naked picture of myself – just to show my solidarity with Mr Harry, our beloved Prince – but you know what, I don’t think it would make any impact, and I don’t think anybody would follow suit. If I did that, nobody would give a toss.
But if you happen to be him, then we aren’t looking at your lovely royal arse. We’re thinking ‘where did you get those abs from and where can I start being just like you?’ Prince Harry is not a disgrace. He is a role model.
I have been whittling away at promo for the new album. It’s a difficult thing to do as I have completed my musical work and then I have to tell people why it’s good. As far as promo goes, I feel it’s like ejaculating on Piers Morgan’s face and then having to explain why that is a good thing. I’m sure you can manage to get to the bottom of this blog where links will be provided.
The response for this album so far has been, let’s face it, shite. It is a great album, of which I am very proud. I think I have one more album left in me for next year, after that… unless this beautiful movement of music starts moving, we’re gonna call it a day. That’s right. You heard me. I have only 18 months of Meiosis left to give – then I might do something else.
We’re doing the usual gigs this autumn in Newcastle (it’d be nice to come to another town, if you’d have us? If you want us we’re at musicbymeiosis at gmail.com – I have done that to avoid spambots contacting me – and if you were looking for an explanation, then you are an idiot and I shall not play for you!) I’m very much looking forward to performing the new songs and writing a little more. I hope you enjoy my music. That’s why it exists.
THERE ARE TWO VIDEOS HERE! I shall leave you to decide. I am in both (note: shhhhh).
Ahh so I'm not in it. I tricked you. I was asked politely to be in it by the band but I had something else to do on the day which I wish I had cancelled now. The band were So What Robot and you can buy that single on the internet for not a lot of money. Here is the link: http://sowhatrobot.bandcamp.com/music
And now here is another video: Now on BBC2 - Leonard Rossiter plays Martin Thompson in 'Dribs & Drabs' :
If you find Martin “Meiosis” Thompson palatable, then why not check out his website: http://www.musicbymeiosis.com – lots of blogs, music and other things you might like there.
Also, if you’d like to buy the new Meiosis album (the one Martin has not mentioned in his blog at all this week) then you can have it for £3… yes 3 quid! But only through the links provided at http://www.musicbymeiosis.com - it’s gonna be £7.90 on iTunes again – no idea why (I get next to nothing out of that. Buy it from Bandcamp for £3 and I get £2.45. Not bad – please go and do that!)