I LOVE YOU ALL
It would be terribly unforgiving of me to tell you at this point in a blog that I’m feeling alright. More than alright… I’m actually really happy with my dormant life and my unforgiving boredom with everything that is happening or anything that is ever likely to ever happen ever.
The Bowie Experience Gig that I have been relentlessly promoting for 3 months now appears to be selling well. We’ve sold over half of my online allocation already – so probably on track to sell that out. I’ve deliberately kept some space back if people want to pay on the door as I’m not a cunt but I’m not telling anyone that yet… oh balls! I’ve just done it! – Those tickets will be £15 rather than a tenner though so – grab them whilst you still can for just a tenner at: www.wegottickets.com/event/296818
So when you’re a musician and promoting something like this, your mind can’t help but think ‘why don’t I do this? A lovely tribute band & maybe tour the country & make some easy bucks from someone else’s music?’ Well… it’s because I can’t do it. I think the beautiful thing about the tribute bands that I put on like this also have another something about them. That’s why I put them on. This will be the third time I have put on a show with The Bowie Experience, and followers of this blog will know that I refuse to compromise when it comes to making sure, that when I do this, it’s the best I can possibly do. I’m sure the North East aren’t short of David Bowie Tribute acts, but these are the best in the country, so – let’s have them! The same went for Viva Morrissey & perhaps in the future a Blur tribute band I have my eye on.
I thought about doing it myself recently, it would have to be Pulp wouldn’t it? I thought about forming ‘Fat Pulp’ – it’s like Pulp but everybody in the band would be a bit fatter than Pulp. I’d wear a wig… I’d be ‘Fat Jarvis’. It’s a pipe dream. A fat pipe dream. Perhaps ‘Gulp’ would be a better name for the band? Although no one would get it. Anyway – it’s gonna be easy, I would be ‘Fat Jarvis’ and all I need to do now is to find a ‘Fat Steve’, a ‘Fat Russell’, a ‘Fat Mark’’, a ‘Fat Nick’ (although Nick Banks would probably do) and a ‘Fat Candida’. So what is stopping me from doing that then? Absolutely nothing… apart from needing to find a ‘Fat Steve’ a ‘Fat Russell’, a ‘Fat Mark’’, a ‘Fat Nick’ (although Nick Banks would probably do) and a ‘Fat Candida’.
We’d make millions from our fatness and we would sometimes do a mad dance version of ‘Common People’. I’d get bored and eventually want to release more new music of my own creation. It would all fall apart bitterly & I’d be pressured into slagging off my old fat bandmates on the internet for sexual gratification. So I can’t do that.
Anyway, I’ve 2 or 3 Meiosis gig commitments to make and then I think that’s about as much as I can muster for this year. I have pretty much put everything I have into it for the past 5 years & maybe it’s time to move on. I don’t think I can move on musically until I form a band (I should have done so a couple of years ago but it’s so much easier and cheaper to do gigs on my own). So If I want to carry on performing my music after May of this year – I have made the commitment that it has to be more ‘live’. I’m really fucking bored of playing along to backing tracks now & I want to hear more life in the songs & music that I write. I’m very proud of my back catalogue of songs & have been writing new songs in the same vein – but doing the same thing over & over again is not just beginning to bore me, it’s just not promotable. Who knows what I am going to do next; I don’t. Perhaps killing off Meiosis is not the answer, perhaps I should embrace my work & learn to love it but I have a built in mechanism, somewhere in my brain, that tells me I can always do better than this. Always.
When I see my 22 year old comparisons in other local bands getting any local acclaim – my sour head becomes full of jealous thoughts. Now I am 32 and fat & bald and I look like I’m 48, I get annoyed that I never took up my chances when I was 22. Then I thought… well no… when I was 22 – I had no local acclaim because I basically could not bridge the social gap which meant me being able to form a band. The same problem I have now. Now, I feel the need to be in control of everything. I think now it’s time to let go and let ‘Meiosis’ work as it was originally meant to. As a living, breathing band with mistakes & friendships & everything else that a live band has to offer.
So my last Meiosis gig, as I know it now, will be on Saturday 9th May 2015 at The Telegraph in Newcastle. If I can’t get a band together – then there will be no more. That will be it. (I’m guessing I will fail & this will not be it – let’s try!)
This may be a good time to let you know that I am really really grateful to everyone who has attended my gigs, downloaded my music & been generally nice about Meiosis & my music when they didn’t really mean it. It means a lot to me & it’s been wonderful. This is not the end. This (it’s a cliché) is (sorry about that) just (you know) the (oh for fuck’s sake) beginning.
I just wanted to get that of my chest. Buy some tickets & come to my gigs.
The Bowie Experience Tickets: www.thecluny.com/listing/bowie-experience
For more Meiosis stuff: www.musicbymeiosis.com