A SHORT BLOG ABOUT NOTHING (I AM A PC)
Thirty days has September,
April, June and November,
All the rest have thirty one,
Expect for February alone,
Which has twenty eight days clear,
And twenty nine each leap year.
It’s rare that you hear that poem in its entirety. Although no doubt, either someone will recite the first 2 lines to you, or you do it yourself in your head towards the end of every month. It must be the 2nd most underrated thing ever. The second bit is crap though because the poet has rhymed ‘clear’ with ‘year’ – which only works if you’re a bit posh and thus only serves to widen the North/South divide.
The 1st most underrated thing ever is my album which you can now hear on a Spotify near you or maybe download it from iTunes, Amazon, or any other big MP3 retailer in the sky. Maybe, and this is just a suggestion, go and buy a physical copy with a misprinted cover here: http://www.musicbymeiosis.com/store.html
I’m writing this short blog to let you know I may be releasing a bit of an EP in May as a stop-gap before the new album in the autumn but mainly because I wanted a blog dated 29th February. So unless you are a pretty hard-core avid reader of this blog then I’d stop here as this is going to be pretty shit even by my standards.
Have they definitely gone? OK… It’s just me and you now.
It’s my 30th birthday this May so I was wondering if you’d like to come to a free gig? We did this last year at The Telegraph in Newcastle and I think we’ll do it again. I’m in the process of booking some fantastic bands and of course I’ll do a little (when I say little I mean slightly longer than usual) set myself. In addition to this I’m considering doing The Cluny again perhaps around the same time with some bigger bands and charging you on the door (overheads with the bigger venues are high and I’m the evil cunt who is promoting it). Anyway, If you are a musician around Tyne & Wear, I thought I’d ask if you’d like to play? I thought I’d sneakily do so here first as this way I will probably find peeps who are more interested in playing than the usual peeps? – or maybe the same peeps? It’s a bit of an experiment. Contact me using the contact tab on this website if you fancy it!
In other news, all I have really been doing recently is writing and recording some new songs and some old songs I never used. I found a handful of songs I wrote in a period about 8 years ago which will probably make up the aforementioned EP. So far I have recorded only one of them as I have also been busy at my day job. Hopefully I can get a couple more done next week and see if it’s actually going to work from there.
I have been reading up on the Falkland Islands this week. I tell you what… if it was only an hour away from the UK we’d all be visiting. It seems like a strange and surreal place that I’d like to visit. Since the islands became really famous in 1982 there has been an influx of tourism, mainly due to some cruise ships stopping off on the way. I reckon you’ll be able to get a cheap cruise this summer from the ill-fated company that has had 2 terrible incidents within months of each other. And even if you end up paying full fare, a cruise around the Med may end up drifting to the Falklands anyway, or better still arrive in port upside down. I reckon you’d get a full refund for that.
Many, like George ‘Do you want me to be the cat?’ Galloway thinks we should hand over the islands to Argentina as we did with Hong Kong to the Chinese. I don’t claim to know a lot about the history of all of this. The best thing to come out of the short period of that war was that I was born. However I’m quite sure that if I lived there I wouldn’t want my entire life and nationality to be debated without getting a say. The numerous surveys and referendums of the people who live on the islands have always pointed in the same direction. They wish to remain British as they are now and have been all their lives.
Some say that it’s all about oil. It’s not really – we offered a deal for the oil with the Argentinians but they kept being silly. I have never been to and probably will never go to the Falklands but I have solidarity for their inhabitants. I also grew up near Stanley and it’s a cold, dark, damp windy place. So fuck you George ‘Meeow’ Galloway. Fuck you!
If you enjoyed my uneducated comments on political stuff then you are an idiot! I think I should stick to music and slagging off Piers Morgan (who still hasn’t sued me for libel yet) from now on.
I was fortunate to hear the phrase “this country…typical…it’s political correctness gone mad” earlier today. I was overjoyed! I haven’t heard anyone say the whole shebang in ages! Normally you get a bit of “this country…” or a head shake and “it’s… typical”. but it’s been ages since I heard someone say the whole thing, “this country…typical… it’s political correctness gone mad”. Normally when someone says this phrase to me from the words, “this country…” I could usually finish it for them – but I don’t. I let them finish their idiocy then wobble my head in my “you are a fucking idiot” fashion then waltz off.
My day job is on the railways so I do get to hear this kind of comment quite a lot. However, when I heard that particular phrase today I thought oh, I haven’t heard anyone say that for a while. And I think I have fathomed out why. It’s because since the Tories have come to power and David Cameroon has been periodically shitting on the lower classes from a great height every couple of months then these people are quite happy that political correctness has been put to death (by lethal injection I’d expect). It hasn’t. Now what I hear a lot of are phrases like; “I’m not being sexist but…[then an incredibly sexist remark]”, I’m not being homophobic but [then an uneducated homophobic comment]” or “I’m not being racist but all these fucking Muslims” or “…all these fucking Jews, right” – which is where I stop them and say “That’s not racist. That’s a religion. What you are doing is confusing racism with prejudicism.” And then add “I know, it’s political correctness gone mad” at which point they never understand the irony and carry on spouting their shit opinions which I really couldn’t give a flying facial fuck about.
And if political correctness did actually go mad, it’d be no longer be politically correct. It’d be wrong. Just plain wrong. Still if political correctness did go mad – I’d wanna be at that party because I’m sure it’d really want to let its hair down.
Here’s something I find amusing and someone who can articulate[sic] himself far better than I can:
Here’s a song from my last album (which I no doubt persuaded you to immediately go and buy earlier in this blog) performed live at The Cluny in Newcastle last month:
Now go and find more of my over-opinionated self - but concentrate mainly on my music please - I beg you: